In the world of dating the no call or the no call return works both ways. Hours of conversation is exchanged between the sexes then usually the male asks the female for her phone number. The way it should work is that the male calls within a week then the female picks up or if she’s busy calls back in a reasonable time. But anyone and everyone who’s been the jungle of the adult dating scene knows it usually doesn’t work like that. Now years of research and us males who’ve been in the trenches long enough know that getting a girls phone number doesn’t mean shit. First off a girl with low self-esteem will waste your time chatting you up all night and not even be interested in you but still give you her number. Some girls just love the attention of guys talking to them and give out their phone numbers like candy on Halloween. Other girls will give you their number just so you’ll stop talking to them and go away. Immature twatwaffles give out fake numbers.

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But why on the other hand do guys ask for phone numbers and never call. I mean most of the time guys are the one making the approach right, so if we’re not interested why even ask for a woman’s phone number if we don’t want to talk to them again. Well ladies I’ll clue you in, as one of the funniest male writers in NY said, “ladies, write this one down in period blood because it’s pretty much permanent” When a guy first approaches a woman in a bar, club, bookstore, whorehouse, we’re not approaching with “get her phone number” on our minds. Especially if we’ve been drinking bourbon and coke. When alcohol is in our system the first and only thought is trying to gain entrance into the snatch trap…. that night…. hell right there on the bar why waste time? Getting your phone number is a consolation prize. Remember now if it’s at a club or bar it’s probably dark.

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So for some reason you have morals or that other thing called self respect and you wont let us blow your backs out that night but you give us your number. Now the next morning we wake up and see your number. This is when we start deconstructing your physical appearance. You might have had the best conversational skills ever known to man. Your jokes could have been funny and on point. But you must first pass that man’s deconstruction test.

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Usually he’ll start at your face and work his way down. Was her face cute, her snaggles straight, eyes not too far apart, hair on point. Then we move on to the body (which depends on what type of body the guy finds attractive). I just want both breast to be the same cup size, but apparently that’s asking too much in DC. Finally if it’s still a toss up we’ll jerk it to porn. Now after clearing our minds to a monkey throwing poop at a one legged blonde while a midget in a diaper rubs his nipples, we’ll decide if we’re ever going to call you or not. If after the porn we don’t have a sexual desire to call….. we wont. I can link to a couple of guys I know who are famous for this.

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Now what’s the point of deconstructing a woman the next day? Well if we do call and all goes well this will lead to a date. That means we’ll have to be seen with you in better lighting,even more importantly we’ll have to be seen with you in public. Every man out there has experienced the nightmare of being out with a woman WAY less attractive than he is. Even the busboy looks at you like, “amigo, what the fuck are you doing….. are you still drunk…. at 6:30pm” Now what about after sex? What if he doesn’t call you after a night that ends with the reverse spider monkey? Well let me put it to you nicely, if a guy gets really great sex from a girl, he’ll want to come back for a repeat performance. Just keeping it real because this goes both ways.

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So there you have it ladies. I know you feel lonelier than white none adopted orphans in America when a guy doesn’t call you after getting your number. Hopefully this will help you feel better. I mean what woman just wants to be used for a sexual vessel? Besides, you could always give your number to a guy like this…… Oh shit, I’ve been this guy

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